Confused !

Why do we hurt others... ? Because of expectations ? that means you love others so much that you want them to be, how you want them to be? It is a bit strange to understand that we want to hurt those who we love the most. Does it make sense ? In a skewed logic of its own but true. Extrapolating the same, when you read the ancient saying "love all" that means we hurt all and hurt ourselves...?

Usually hurting someone who is evil( in our eyes and understanding) is justified in some way but the guilt of hurting someone you know and love is so much more difficult to forget or forgive. Forget forgiving those who have caused hurt we can't even seem to forgive ourselves for what we have done. Keeps coming back to haunt you again and again. It is burden we seem to carry forever( may be not for everyone). Important thing is to forgive ourselves first before you forgive others.

I wonder sometimes is it me who is like this or others too. From what I know and hear, lot of sensitive people feel it. They know how to hide it behind smiles/silence till the memory fades away or suppressed. It will always leave a scar in the relationship that is difficult to repair. I believe there is a saying in Ayurveda that any surgery is like breaking an earthen pot you may fix it but will never be as good as the original.

The beauty is that these are times when these incidents take me deeper into my feelings and thought patterns. It is really a period of intense introspection and looking at different perspectives. Initially the hurt feeling pushes me to come with all justification to to prove my point and later as things settle down,to be more open and look at different views. I find that quite interesting as I would not be able to understand this perspective. This whack delivers us into that zone where we are forced to review our concepts, logic and perspective .

How can I be open without going through this journey of hurt and pain... ? It is like that change curve , you cannot be opened unless you are pressurised to crack. Can I reach that stage where I can be open without any bias and preconceived notions.

Bias is such a killer in relationships, what might be a protective and predictive algorithm gone awry. It starts from social media posts to discussion with friends to office politics to relationship at home.

To decide ( judge) we need two things facts and a way to format the data to provide the conclusion. With the data we interpret the data with the bias we have. So bias scores over the data you have collected.

Meditation is a way of distancing ourselves from the mind which may help in removing biases and look at the situation objectively but it will also need intuition in the absence of the bias to reach a conclusion. Will meditation enable that dormant intuition to come to surface ?

Just a rambling of a confused mind trying to analyse as objectively as possible.

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